MS Changes Name of Column....

We're all incredibly relieved. I just hope there isn't a big holystoning party going on over there. No need for collateral BS.

Now that this is resolved, I welcome the guy. We can use any help we can get in getting these wallflower parents to start paying attention to their kids and what they're doing. If he can help lower the proportion of little punks getting away with bloody frelling murder on Live I'd be really really happy.

Welcome to the Windmill Tilting Party, Xbox Dad. We've got a spot for you right here.

MS Trying to Steal Gamerdad Name

Last Friday-ish, up on Gamerscore Blog, they highlighted a new column over on Xbox.com. It's called Gamer dad. This was extremely unwelcome news to us. You see, that name has been in use by us for over three years at Gamerdad.

It's not like they didn't know they were stealing the name. As you'll note right there in the top of the entry they pointed out the existence of the Gamerdad site. This is blatent copyright infringement.

To them this is just a sort of cute gimmick to go with their lame attempt to belatedly advertise the parental controls on the 360. To Andrew that's his livelihood, and having it tangled up with the Xbox brand would kill it.

I hope it's not malicious. I hope they're just being the same clueless people blundering through a big forest they have always been. But they're in for a fight.

I Fold...

They're having a poker tournament down at a local comic store. Some comic luminaries are going to be there, and the whole event is going to culminate with a poker tournament to benefitChild's Play. This is a worthy cause and I very much support it. One of the prizes is something I want very badly. The only problem is, I really can't play.

Texas Hold'em is the name of the game. I've tried to learn to play this multiple times. I suck at all poker, pretty much. I don't understand what my issue is.

I can play Pinochle with no problem and it has a bunch of arcane card passing crap. Cribbage has both the concept of "the crib" and it even requires accessories. But for some reason all this blind business and buttons and betting just don't make any sense to me at all.

I'd be better off with a Calvinball tournament. If you insist cards be involved, how about a brisk set of Mao? Or if we could pull off a large-scale game of Egyptian Rat I'd be set.

But no. Poker it is. The Penny Arcade comics here and here are such a prescient vision of what would happen if I tossed my hat in that I think I'll sit this hand out. Maybe there's a donation thing and I can just hand them the money at the door rather than doing it in dribs and drabs as I flounder helplessly around on the felt.

A New Kind of Idiot in Town...

With the recent resurgence of everyone's favorite Florida Lawyer, an odd sort of freak has crawled out from between the keys on the keyboards and oozed their way onto many game-related message boards and websites. They create an identity posing as Mr. Thompson and post inane nonsense supposedly in his character.

I have a few words to say to these individuals, and so I'm going to a take a point of character from Mr. Thompson and send out an open letter.

Open Letter to Posters currently posing as Jack Thompson:

There are people in this world who are working very hard to make sure this man doesn't manage to legislate his idiotic view of the gaming industry into place through the courts.

Crap like this little pose of yours does NOT help this.

It's flamebait. Too many people don't figure out you are a posing r-tard until after they've shot their mouth off. It causes people to act even more like the usual asshats at a time when non-gamers are paying more attention to the actions and speech of gamers.

You, and your ilk on many other gaming message boards, need to find another way to get your jollies. Because right now all you're doing is helping him.

Brownback's Folly
In case you hadn't heard the government's latest attempt to figure out what to do with the soi disant "problem of videogames" is a real doozy. It all starts out so innocently as a requirement for the ESRB to actually play the games they rate (which I support), but is structured in a way that would force the system to fail and then mandate the government take over when that happens. It also discusses a "universal" system for rating entertainment also managed by the goverment.

He's trying to get average parents to do this rating - not gamers. That's going to be difficult. Obviously this guy's never played a current generation videogame. Expecting the average soccer-mom to get through Ninja Gaiden is just not feasible. And there are over 10,000 games released every year. Where's he gonna hire that many parents? Also, after a couple games, they're no longer, uh, virgins. Before too long, find a parent who doesn't game is going to be something like trying to find an unbiased juror for Michael Jackson.

They claim they're trying to prevent another Hot Coffee. Too bad this wouldn't have done that. Hot Coffee required a crack built by a third party and therefore wouldn't have been part of the game submitted for review. The ESRB has some problems, but this one wasn't their fault. It might have prevented another Oblivion rating problem, but they caught themselves and took that one on the chin already.

Oh, and he wants the ESRB supervised by the Government Accountability Office (GAO). And I assume once we go to the overall system he wants them looked at, too. Except none of the entities in question are part of the goverment. The MPAA for movies, the ESRB for games, and I don't know the name of the TV ratings body are all funded by the industries they represent. The government doesn't pay a red scent and all the government's attempts to get into this business have been blocked by the courts (14 times and counting so far).

He's not trying to get parents better information or even "save the children", guys. He's trying to set up government censorship for videogames and eventually all other entertainment media.

There's no amount of re-arranging the deck chairs that's going to keep this Titanic piece of idiocy afloat. Would someone please read the First Amendment to this guy and save the government and the rest of us a lot of money and time?

Episodic Games Save Aging Gamers?

Originally posted here, in response to this piece of work.

I'm trying to figure out exactly what you were trying to say here. Let me try to lay out this logic chain:

-- the average gamer is 33
-- 33 year olds don't have as much time to game
-- most "regular" games take a lot of time and skills to play
-- older players are going to like it if you cut their games into chunks

Is that where you're going? If so, I can see a few problems.

The games are still just as complicated as their longer versions
SiN Episodes is a Half-Life 2 clone in a new box; the skillset required to play it is pretty much the same as the regular game (fewer weapon types, but you still have to know how to hit the broad side of a barn from the inside). And the Half-Life 2 one is, well, Half-Life 2. So you still have to spend the clock ticks and thumb-sweat to learn to play it. No time saved here.

Still longer than the average graying gamer can commit to in one session
The first installment of SiN Episodes takes about six hours to complete according to my colleague at Gamerdad who played it, and he's a Half Life freak so he already had the skills (he also has several kids). This is less that the real game, but still far longer than most adult gamers can commit to in one sitting. To fit it in you're still going to have to figure out how to use a Save system. And if you've figured it out for this, it's just as easy to use one to play regular games. No savings there.

Pay off
It doesn't feel like you got your money's worth. I was far happier with the original SiN on my aging crappy PC. As a long-time gamer, there is no way I'm going to feel good about finishing a game in one day. Even if it only cost me $20. Especially since I can just be a bit patient and get the big version used or in the "Platinum Hits" collection for that same price.

Not covering all the metrics
You talk about gameplay in increments of time, but then you ignore that story has many elements that are unrelated to it. You can parcel out a game in small hunks of gameplay, or you can parcel it out in small hunks of landscape. These are two separate ideas and you've got them all mashed together here.

Not looking at the whole picture
Please realize that 33 is an AVERAGE. That means that statistically speaking half of gamers are older than that. I'm 37. We already have families and jobs and lives and have for a lot of years and we're still playing just fine, thank you very much. The average age of WoW players is 26. Well past the teenage years. Over a third of them are married, and 22% have children as well. Plenty of older gamers figure out how to succeed at WoW and have a life. In the regular gaming population, the average age is 33. But you didn't include the statistic that 35% of them are parents. They've already figured out the problem you're suggesting is being fixed by these episodic games.

Both of your main examples using shooters as their base. This locks you into a very specific demographic which is a tiny subset of the whole install base. If they really want to give this idea a run for it's money, then why not use a practically ready-made format like the RPG? Each "chapter" in the story could be sold separately. As long as you kept them cheap and made them available very quickly you'd hit on one of the hardest demographics to hit - the soap opera set. Imagine a Final Fantasy-like world with a weekly download. Sam and Max is somewhat similar, but without the crack-like addictive powers that Kingdom Hearts or Fullmetal Alchemist has for the tweener/teenage girls.

As far as how to do a free-ranging game episodically, one way has already been tried with a fair amount of success. I suggest you look at Oblivion's add on quests and areas. You have your base world with it's base story, then you download settings and other new gewgaws. In the case of GTA, you'd download and install a pack and what used to be a vacant lot would now have a new place like a bar or garage added to the base world, with a new set of characters and missions to go through. Say a car manufacturer wants to advertise, how about a pack that gives you the ability to add their new vehicle to that world a la the horse armor.

What do aging gamers do to get their fix? Well, I can tell you what me and most of my friends have figured out. Use the frickin' save system. Then you play the game in one or two hour hunks as you have time. Most games handle this dynamic quite nicely. Particularly if it's a console game. Yes, you don't finish a game in a week. A good long jRPG may take a month or more but it's not going anywhere.

Growing up is learning how to make these balancing-act sort of decisions. Mr O'Brien re-arranges his life around the airing schedule of Lost to get his hour per week fix. I arrange mine around the kids and my job to get me two hours of Enchanted Arms. And when it comes, I'll probably find a way to fit Sam and Max in there, too. Right after I finish Twilight Princess and before I get Metal Gear Solid 4, judging by the shipping schedules.


Some helpful resources:
Play On has some really solid statistics they get from scraping the actual WoW servers that give you some real info on gamer's behavior while they're actually playing online. This tracks actual avatar activities, not RL bodies, though.

The Daedelus Project is an ongoing study of the WoW universe both from a game behavior and from a "Real World" standpoint.

Gamerdad has a group of dedicated gamers who are also parents and discusses their take on the industry and on the joys and sorrows of gaming with children (caveat - I work for them).

Gamers With Jobs is a group of "grown ups" who can give you the skinny of how to balance a gaming life and that pesky real one at the same time.

Guitar Hero Blues....

I'm stuck here at work (duh duh duh duh duh)
And I can't play my game (duh duh duh duh duh)
My servers are screamin' (duh duh duh duh duh)
My kids are a pain (duh duh duh duh duh)

But I'll get to play soon! (duh duh duh duh duh)
One more day to go! (duh duh duh duh duh)
'Cause it's Friday all day here (duh duh duh duh duh)
And tomorrow's my show! (duh duh duh duh duh)

(with apologies to BBKing)

Yes, I'm late to the party. I know. I've known about this game since before it came out and it was all cool but I didn't just jump right on it. All it took was one memorable hour or so with all the kids taking turns at "Smoke on the Water" in the game store before I realized that this one isn't coming into my house until I get headphones for my TV. Then having this sort of thing fit into a matrix of kids/life/job/pissed off neighbors just never panned out. I'd heard the announcement of the next one that's coming out here soon and I figured I'd maybe pick it up then.

But then I went to PAX. I knew they were all monsters at this game. But I didn't realize the scale. I watched six-digit scores roll up with my eyes just getting bigger and bigger. I swear Robert and Tycho have extra fingers or something. Several sets. Because there was no other way they could have managed that. The gauntlett was thrown down and I had to pick it up and oh boy was the result humiliating.

I didn't even get to play the real players. I didn't lack for opponents, though. There were several others who hadn't played before. But I still got my arse kicked. And I wasn't alone in my sudden resolution to own it and practice up in time for Child's Play - there was a quiet little run on Guitar Hero at many local gamestores after that.

This thing causes more flashbacks than even "Ferris Beuller's Day Off". Every time they unlock a song and I'm in the other room or something it'll hit me. Or my favorite has been when they came to me with kudos for some song they just unlocked and I reach into my disk rack (also known as The Crypt due to the advanced age of the music contained within it) and pick out the CD to show them how they've ridiculed me for listening to this stuff. It's not nice, I know, but concrete evidence that I am not, in fact, terminally un-cool is rare and must be savored.

They have been playing it pretty much non-stop. And now they're kicking my butt. Because I don't have three hours every afternoon to play it. That's the way it always works. And besides, I'm aeons ahead in getting through Enchanted Arms.

Bad Side:
--Now I have yet another huge frickin' game peripheral to fit into my living room. And soon I will have two of them.
--Repetition is the mother of insanity. Doubly so if it's a cover of a bad 70's arena rock song puncutated with that weird plinky-noise that means you missed a note.

Good Side:
--It's just plain fun without the downside. You get to rock the Freak Pit, but without the sweaty stench and the coked-out freaks.
--Two hour discussion between me and the kids about why the Les Paul Fender is better than the rest. Period.
--The kids are easier to keep track of because they spend most of their free time in an 8' radius from the PS2 in the living room.
--The girls want a Ramones CD, and the boys want to listen to ZZ Top.
--They actually recognized Ziggy Stardust when they ran across it.

Playing it has given me a little rawk in my roll that I've been lacking for a while. I've spent most of the day with "I Wanna Be Sedated" running through my head and that hasn't happened since the mid-80's. And I'll definately throw up the horns for that.